Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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