but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize