my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
