Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
