Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
