We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
