i don't like sucking hair
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
