Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
