well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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