I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
