Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cockslap morals
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
