no you cant smoke seaweed
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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