I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
