it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
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When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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