youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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