shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
