i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I checked into jail on foursquare
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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