We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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