He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
