Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well I just put wine in my tea
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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