My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
