Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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