I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
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how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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