It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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