i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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