and you said cock pushups were impossible
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize