I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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