Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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