you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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