You really coming over, don't trick.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
