Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize