Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
