sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
