He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize