not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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