I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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