Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do vagina's smell?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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