You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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