69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
