my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
high people should be assigned attendants
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual