I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
