Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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