I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just forgot I was standing up.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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