just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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