I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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