I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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