I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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