90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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