I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize