I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
