You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
