Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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