I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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