A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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