I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My vagina is officially offended.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize