This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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