***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
