Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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