I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
